I haven’t been that active lately, have I? Don’t answer that. I know I haven’t been online as much as I used to be. Whether you believe it or not, I actually went a week without even opening my laptop during my hiatus. Then at night -when I was supposed to go to sleep- I would lie awake, pondering why I wasn’t as upset about that as I previously would have been. Because there was a time I would’ve been upset about that. So what’s going on?
It’s not a slump. Not a reading slump, because I haven’t stopped reading. I read one classic a week for my study, and then another one (or two) for recreation. Reading might’ve become a bit slower than usual, and I might have some trouble picking up a new book, but I still feel like reading, and I still read a lot. It’s not really a blogging slump either, because I have enough to write about and I have no trouble getting into a writing mood, but somehow I feel a bit indifferent.
It’s not the case that I am too busy to blog. I might have less time than less year, but that’s to be expected when you start university (and only had three classes the year before). Yes, I just had my mid-term exams: which I aced, but that was only a week. I have spare time! I don’t spent all my time studying!
Frankly, when I lay awake pondering, I had trouble finding an answer. And before I realised another week had passed without me opening my laptop and writing a new blog post. And then I felt like shit again, because I felt like I was letting my readers down. Not just you guys, but also myself. I love blogging! I do. So why aren’t I active?!
This question drove me mad. And then I read Jamie’s post “Not A Slump But A SOMETHING” and I recognized myself in what she wrote. What she literally wrote in a tweet was the following. “I have to remember that I read because I want to & not for my blog.” And this is so true! It’s such a shame, but once I read this, I realized that it’s exactly what I couldn’t put into words myself.
I started this blog because of my love for reading. But along the way it became more about the amount of books I read and reviewed. I forgot the entire intention behind this blog. I love reading, and I want to share that with all of you. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to read lots of books if I don’t enjoy the process of reading itself. Why should I stress about reading, most importantly, why should I stress about not reading enough? This blog is supposed to be fun. It should be fun to read for YOU, and it should be fun to write for ME. So who cares if I don’t read as much, or if I don’t post lots of reviews every week. I want my reviews to be substantial, but above all they should be fun!
And I think I’ve come to terms with this now. Yes, I want to post a bit more, because not posting anything isn’t the solution either. But I am okay with reading and posting on my own pace.
A little question for you
Have you ever had the same thing happening to you? How did you handle it?